The half started much like the first 5 games of last season, when the team collectively forgot what hockey is and soon conceded.

Portsmouth responded by conceding a further two goals before half time.

Half time happened, Dave Johns was indescribable and Alex Williams enjoyed his extended green card sit down.

The second half started, problematically, but then Lucas Carkeek-Blakley rifled a goal home.

The game finally wrapped up when GK Ed Smyth put the cherry on top by letting in goal that a limbless vole could have stopped.

DOTD was somehow not awarded to James Payne, whose on pitch performance was even worse than his attempts at flirting with the barmaid.

Next week we look to win against Havant, with a pushback after DJ’s bedtime
Special congratulations to Jake & special condolences to Lauren.